Trauma Bonding: Definition, Stages, & Recovery

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Trauma bonding might be a term that might sound like jargon straight out of a psychologist’s textbook. But the reality is far more common than our understanding might suggest. For anyone who has experienced it, it’s crucial to unpack what this means, how it develops, and how one can gently untangle from its grasp.

What Is Trauma Bonding?

Firstly, trauma bonding forms between people where one person consistently undermines the other, yet an emotional connection deepens.

Imagine a couple where one partner frequently exhibits jealous and controlling behaviors, regularly questioning the other’s whereabouts, decisions, and interactions with friends. This partner often accuses the other of being unfaithful or disloyal, leading to arguments that can escalate into emotional abuse or threats of breaking up.

Then comes the gesture …

However, following these intense and upsetting episodes, the controlling partner becomes exceedingly affectionate and remorseful. They might offer grand romantic gestures, such as surprise vacations or expensive gifts, and make emotional declarations of love and commitment. They promise to change, using these moments to rekindle the romance and deepen the emotional connection.

And the bond between the two becomes even stronger than before.

This paradox isn’t just perplexing—it’s painful. It’s like superglue; it holds fast and tight, even when everything screams that it shouldn’t.

How Does Trauma Bonding Develop?

It’s not merely about shared experiences but the intensity and rollercoaster nature of these experiences. Imagine a relationship as a series of exchanges—moments filled with both profound joy and deep sorrow.

This isn’t just about being together during good times and bad. It’s about how these polarized moments are woven into the fabric of the relationship, creating an erratic but compelling rhythm that becomes almost addictive.

It’s addictive …

Think about it like a suspenseful novel. In the narrative of such relationships, every positive incident—every moment of kindness or affection—serves as a plot twist that keeps the story moving forward, making the characters hope for a happy resolution. These are the hooks, the cliffhangers.

These dynamics set the stage for the trauma bond to solidify, where the intermittent rewards amidst the strife fortify the emotional connection, masking the underlying dysfunction.

Recognizing the Stages of Trauma Bonding

To understand trauma bonding, let’s look at the stages.

Stage one

In the first act, everything is as perfect as a scene in a movie—bright, engaging, and full of promise. Here the abuser behaves as their most appealing self, making the potential for danger seem distant and improbable.

Stage two
As we transition into the second act, the tension builds subtly. So subtle you might not even notice. This is where small, unsettling feelings start to emerge. Something feels off, but it’s hard to pinpoint what exactly, or why one should be alarmed. Words that catch you off-guard or seem insensitive. During conversations, they start making offhand comments that seem just a bit off—perhaps poking fun at your career choices or lifestyle in a way that’s not entirely playful, or casually dismissing your feelings about something important to you.

Stage three

Then, we reach the third act—where the actual harm occurs. This phase can be overt, like emotional or physical abuse, or more insidious, like gaslighting or psychological manipulation. The impact is profound and disorienting, shaking the foundation of the victim’s self-esteem and reality.

They may verbally lash out, blaming you for their unhappiness and failures, and even isolating them from friends and family. These accusations and emotional withdrawals create a tense and unstable home environment.

Stage four

The final act is reconciliation, which cleverly resets the stage each time. It’s sprinkled with promises, apologies, or acts of affection. The victim of a trauma bond finds that the reconciliatory gestures momentarily ease the pain. And it’s enough to compel them to stay in the cycle, hoping each reset leads to a better chapter.

Breaking the Trauma Bond

So, how do you break free? Awareness is the first step. Recognizing the pattern provides the power to seek change. Secondly, external support is invaluable. Friends, family, and especially professionals can offer perspectives and support outside the emotional whirlwind.

Moreover, therapeutic intervention often provides the tools and space to explore these bonds safely and understand the underlying issues contributing to staying in harmful relationships.

Navigating the Path

Recovery from trauma bonding isn’t a sprint; it’s more like a marathon. And while the path can sometimes feel lonely or daunting, it’s rich with the promise of reclaiming one’s peace and autonomy.

Get Help With Lido Wellness Center in Newport Beach

If you or someone you know is navigating the complex dynamics of trauma bonding, remember, help is not just available—it’s a vital step towards healing. At Lido Wellness Center in Newport Beach, CA, our dedicated team specializes in understanding and unraveling the intricate patterns of trauma bonds.

We provide compassionate support and effective strategies designed to empower you towards a life of autonomy and healthier relationships. Don’t wait to take the first step towards your new chapter. Contact us today and begin your journey to recovery and self-discovery.

Dissecting Nomophobia and Mental Health

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Have you ever felt that tiny heart attack when you can’t find your phone in your bag, or when the battery icon turns red? Welcome to the club of Nomophobia – yes, that’s an actual term now. It stands for “no-mobile-phone phobia.” It sounds like something out of a modern-day Dickens novel. But this is where we are, glued to our little screens as if they were life support.

Nomophobia Symptoms

First, let’s diagnose the problem. Do you feel anxious, restless, or downright panicky when you’re away from your phone? Does the thought of being unreachable or missing out on social media updates make you sweat more than a hot yoga class? If your phone is your security blanket, and losing it feels like losing a part of yourself, you might be experiencing Nomophobia.

It’s Okay, We’re All a Bit Weird Here

We’re living in an age where being phone-less feels like being stranded on a deserted island. When we leave our phone at home, we end up spending the whole day twitching like a squirrel on espresso.

But what if this clingy relationship with our phones is more than just a bad habit? What if it’s entwined with other anxieties and disorders? Here are some ways that nomophobia could overlap with various mental health issues.

Nomophobia and Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety disorders are like that background noise that never quite goes away. Add Nomophobia to the mix, and it’s like turning up the volume on a bad song. If you’re already prone to anxiety, the constant need for digital reassurance can be like fuel to a fire. Every buzz could be a potential crisis, or worse, no buzzes could mean you’re being ignored or there’s an apocalypse happening and you’re the last to know.

Nomophobia and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

For those with OCD tendencies, the phone becomes a ritual. Check the news, scroll through social media, check the news again—it’s a loop that feels impossible to break. It’s like having a mental itch you can’t stop scratching. The fear of missing out (FOMO) or the need for constant updates can turn your phone into a digital pacifier.

Depression and Phones

Let’s talk about depression. It’s that heaviest of blanket that makes it hard to get out of bed. In the paradoxical world of depression, your phone can be both a window and a prison. It connects you to the world, but also amplifies the feeling of isolation. Seeing others’ curated lives can make your own world look grey. Nomophobia adds to this by making you fear disconnection, even when connection feels painful. Here are more ways social media affects our mental health.

Nomophobia and Social Anxiety

For those with social anxiety, the phone can be a safe harbor. It’s a way to be present without the terror of actual interaction. But this harbor can turn into a trap. The fear of real-life interactions grows, and the phone becomes a crutch you can’t put down. Nomophobia in this case is the fear of losing your shield against the world.

More Than Just Turning Off Your Phone

Treating this tangle of Nomophobia and other mental health issues isn’t as simple as going on a digital detox (though it’s not a bad start). It’s about addressing the underlying issues. Therapy, support groups, mindfulness—these are your tools. And humor, let’s not forget humor. Sometimes, you have to laugh at the absurdity of being held hostage by a device that fits in your hand.

Nomophobia Treatment

Treating Nomophobia doesn’t mean throwing your phone into the ocean. It’s about finding balance. Start by setting boundaries—maybe declare one meal a day as a phone-free zone. Watch how the world doesn’t end when you don’t instantly respond to a text.

Mindfulness and meditation can also help. Sit quietly for a few minutes each day, just breathing and being. Notice how your thoughts are like hyperactive puppies, and gently guide them back when they start running towards thoughts of your phone.

If all else fails, humor is a great medicine. Laugh at the absurdity of feeling attached to a tiny, beeping gadget. Write a break-up letter to your phone. Go wild—creativity is your ally.

It’s a Journey

Remember, dealing with Nomophobia is a process. You’ll have good days and bad days, like with any addiction. Yes, addiction—let’s call a spade a spade. But with patience, humor, and a few mindful practices, you can learn to see your phone as just a tool, not a lifeline.

If your phone feels like an extra limb and you’re nodding along to everything you’ve read, it’s time for a chat. Call us at Lido Wellness Center: 949-541-8466. Located in Newport Beach, we offer an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) that understands the tightrope walk of modern life and mental health. It’s not about giving up your phone; it’s about finding balance.

Trauma Bonding: The Invisible Chains of Pain

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We humans are capable of a lot of contradictions. Our experiences of love, pain, mistakes, and redemption all come with varying degrees of the full spectrum of life. Sometimes those contradictions are difficult to explain, let alone understand. When we are drawn again and again into our toxic relationships, causing pain after pain, there is a chance you are experiencing trauma bonding.

Understanding Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding isn’t your usual high school crush or a fleeting romantic phase. It’s an intense, emotional connection developed with someone who alternates between kindness and mistreatment. Said plainly, it’s when someone forms a strong emotional connection with another person who treats them badly or hurts them.

They might get mixed signals of kindness and mistreatment or joy and pain, but ultimately it’s like being stuck in a relationship you know is bad for you, but you can’t seem to leave.

Interesting statistics have surfaced about this concept:

  • According to a study conducted by the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, around 18% of women in domestically violent relationships have reported significant symptoms of trauma bonding.
  • Another study from the Journal of Traumatic Stress indicates that individuals in trauma-bonded relationships are three times more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and even PTSD.

Why Do We Trauma Bond?

At a basic psychological level, trauma bonding occurs due to a powerful mixture of intermittent reinforcement, paired with the human need for connection. People are wired to bond with those around them; it’s a survival mechanism. And when you’re shown love, even if it’s sprinkled with doses of mistreatment, the brain releases a cocktail of chemicals, like oxytocin and dopamine. These feel-good chemicals can confuse the mind, making the bad times seem not so bad, especially when a kind gesture follows them.

Add to that the principle of intermittent reinforcement—a cycle of unpredictable rewards and punishments. Within the unpredictability, every positive gesture, even if it’s rare, feels like a jackpot win at a casino, making the person crave more. This unpredictability, combined with our inherent need to make sense of our environment, can trap a person in a loop, always seeking the reward of a kind moment, no matter how fleeting.

Signs of Trauma Bonding

If we’re honest, most of us have seen our share of unhealthy relationships. We allow a little too much in certain circumstances. And some of this can be okay in life’s complexity. But how do you recognize if it’s too much? What if you’re experiencing trauma bonding? Here are some potential signs:

 

  • Intense emotional connection: Despite the emotional or physical abuse, there’s an unexplainable pull towards the abuser.
  • Justifying abusive behavior: The victim often makes excuses for the perpetrator’s behavior.
  • Isolation: Victims gradually distance themselves from friends and family, usually under the influence of the abuser.
  • Inconsistent affection: The abuser alternates between abusive behavior and kind gestures, creating a powerful loop of reinforcement.
  • Denial: The victim may not acknowledge the extent of the mistreatment or even deny it altogether.

It’s this kaleidoscope of emotions, of intense highs and lows, that makes trauma bonding such a complex and enthralling trap.

Breaking the Bonds of Trauma

Trauma bonding is not a disorder, more like a complex psychological response that arises when individuals form deep attachments in abusive or harmful situations. Often, this bonding leads individuals to stay in toxic relationships, even when onlookers believe it’s clear they should leave.

We must always understand that individuals caught in the grip of trauma bonding are navigating a challenging emotional terrain. It’s a manifestation of the human drive for connection and safety. As such, no one should feel shame for seeking solace and connection, even if it emerges from challenging circumstances.

We all navigate our storms in unique ways, and understanding, rather than judgment, paves the path to healing. 

Seeking professional help, through therapy or counseling, can serve as a vital lifeline for many. It provides a sacred sanctuary where one can unravel the intricate web of emotions and delve into the depths of understanding. Through this process, victims can address and make sense of the roots of trauma bonding.

And remember, healing isn’t just about confronting the external but also about nurturing the internal. Through acts of self-care, be it meditation, journaling, or indulging in passions, we can fortify our self-worth and muster the strength needed to truly break free.

Trauma bonding isn’t just about the clutches of an abusive relationship. It’s about the resilience of the human spirit, the undying hope that dwells within us, urging us to break free and find love and light.

Seek Healing at Lido Wellness Center

If you or someone you love is ensnared in the chains of trauma bonding, there’s hope and help available. At Lido Wellness Center in Newport Beach, compassionate professionals are ready to guide you towards healing and freedom. Don’t wait. Call 949-541-8466 today.

What Is Gaslighting

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As we move through the sometimes-chaotic waters of life, we must never lose our bearings or the ground of our reality. But we may find ourselves vulnerable to manipulation when it comes to interpersonal relationships. These tactics could even call into question our very perception of reality.

This subtle form of psychological abuse known as “gaslighting” has infiltrated our everyday language, yet its profound impact on individuals and relationships is far from innocuous.

The practice of gaslighting is a destructive psychological game. So let’s look at the arenas where gaslighting usually manifests—from personal relationships to the workplace.

What Is Gaslighting?

The term “gaslighting” gets used a lot these days in social media and on TV. But it’s not just another trend. Gaslighting is an actual form of psychological abuse. If someone gaslights you, they feed you false information to make you question your perception of reality. Being gaslit can feel maddening, but with some insight, you can learn to recognize it and respond in an empowering way.

Am I Being Gaslighted?

Gaslighting is most often experienced in relationships.

Here’s a potential scenario: You return home to find your favorite book drenched in coffee on the kitchen counter. You ask your roommate about the mishap.

They look at you, calm as ever, and insist that you left your book by your coffee mug this morning. However, you distinctly remember leaving it on your bedside table. Your roommate may be dismissive; they mention how distracted you’ve been lately. “Are you sure you didn’t bring it to the kitchen?” they ask.

As you clean up the mess, you feel a flicker of self-doubt. Did you bring the book into the kitchen and forget about it?

Want to know “what is gaslighting”? This is it. It’s a subtle manipulation that makes you question your memory and understanding of reality. In such scenarios, it’s important to trust your perceptions and seek support when necessary.

Key Characteristics of Gaslighting

Gaslighting can look a few different ways:

  • Denial: The person denies doing something you were previously very confident they did. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
  • Diverting: The person shifts the blame to you or a problem that they think youcreated.
  • Countering: The person uses phrases like “Are you sure?” or “You’re not remembering that correctly.”

Gaslighting, Relationships, and Mental Health

If you are being gaslit, feeling anxious, worthless, and out of control is normal. You may withdraw from others and question your reality, just as the gaslighter intended.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse in relationships. It’s an attempt to gain control over you. A relationship where this is happening is not a healthy one. You may feel trapped or like you cannot leave. But you can – and often, that is the best choice.

Recognizing Gaslighting

Recognizing what is gaslighting and addressing it can be challenging, but it’s possible. It begins with being attentive to your feelings. If you often question your memory or reality, particularly around a specific person, you might be experiencing gaslighting.

A typical tactic of a gaslighter is to deny events or conversations that you clearly remember. They might make you question the accuracy of your memories by saying things like “That never happened” or “You’re imagining things.”

Another sign is their tendency to deflect or shift blame. If you’re sure they did something wrong, yet somehow you apologize, it’s time to question what’s truly happening.

Responding to Gaslighting

Responding to gaslighting starts with trusting your feelings and perceptions. When your memory is clear, and your instincts alert you to a discrepancy, give yourself permission to believe in your experience.

Practicing assertiveness can also be helpful. A simple response like “I remember things differently” can prevent you from getting entangled in a futile argument and affirm your trust in your memory.

Additionally, reach out to your support network or someone from the Lido Wellness team. External perspectives and validation can provide a more objective view and equip you with strategies to cope with gaslighting.

Remember, you have the right to your reality. You don’t need to accept someone else’s interpretation of it. Standing up for your perception and seeking help when needed is essential.

Gaslighting is indeed a hurtful, abusive, and manipulative tactic. However, by equipping ourselves with understanding and insight, we can recognize the signs, resist its impact, and ultimately, choose healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

If you want to talk to someone about gaslighting or understand how you can gain deeper insight into your wellness journey, call Lido Wellness Center in Newport Beach today.

Mental Health and Nutrition

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Have you ever heard of our gut being our ‘second brain?” We have what’s called the Gut-brain connection. It’s so powerful that just thinking about eating can change our stomach acid and release juices in preparation for food. The cons of this powerful connection is how poor mental health affects the gut. The sayings “my stomach is in knots” or “I have butterflies in my stomach” are ways we describe the physical effects of anxiety. Having anxiety actually increases our stomach acid and wreaks havoc on digestion. Mental health and nutrition go hand-in-hand.

Mental Health and Nutrition

Mental Health and Nutrition Connection

The brain and gastrointestinal tract are connected with the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is an essential part of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is our “rest and digest” state. Having food in our stomach will activate this state. However, when a person is in a stressed state, caused by either physical or emotional stress, their parasympathetic function shuts off and turns on the sympathetic function, known as “fight or flight”. When we eat food while our body is in the sympathetic function, digestion is virtually turned off. This leads to slow gastric emptying and storing energy rather than using it. A person with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health condition, may have the sympathetic function turned on, more often than not. The best thing to do before eating if you are in an anxious state, is a few mindful exercises, like the ones I have listed below. 

Serotonin

Serotonin is a hormone and chemical messenger that helps us feel calm, reduces anxiety, helps us sleep and also with GI mobility. 90% of serotonin is actually produced in the gut and we produce the precursors for serotonin and dopamine through amino acids (food!).

Tyrosine

Tyrosine is the precursor for dopamine. High tyrosine foods include beef, pork, fish, chicken, tofu, milk, cheese, beans, seeds, nuts, and whole grains.

Tryptophan

Tryptophan is the precursor for serotonin. High tryptophan foods include chicken, turkey, red meat, pork, tofu, fish, beans, milk, nuts, seeds, oatmeal, and eggs. Making sure you are getting a wide variety of foods in your diet will help with your serotonin and dopamine production.

Nutrition and Mental Health Together

Nutrition plays such a huge role in mental health because they feed off each other (pun intended!) If our anxiety and depression is low, our stomach acid is being regulated and we are able to enter the parasympathetic function when eating. Thus, having the ability to digest properly and utilize all of the consumed energy for our metabolic function.

If our anxiety and depression is high, not only will we not be digesting properly, but we will also be craving foods higher in carbohydrates for a quick serotonin release. This could lead into disordered eating behaviors such as eating when we are not hungry and not in tune with our hunger/fullness cues. 

Balanced nutrition is the goal for everyone. A simple way I like to help people get on track with balanced eating, is educating on macronutrients vs micronutrients. There are 3 macronutrients: carbohydrates, proteins, and fats.

There are a ton of micronutrients so we will just call these our fruits and vegetables. At each meal, there should be a representative from each category of macronutrient and at least one fruit or vegetable. For example: in a burger, the bun is the carbohydrate, the patty is the protein, the spread or sauce is the fat, and the lettuce/onion/tomato is the micro nutrient. So yes, a burger is a balanced meal!

Mindfulness exercises before eating:

  1. Sit straight up in a chair with feet firmly planted on the ground
  2. Complete a few rounds of breathing techniques such as boxed breathing. Here’s a how.
  3. Check in with your hunger/fullness and anxiety
  4. Repeat some affirmations

 

References:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/the-gut-brain-connection

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK553141/ 

Hanna McAlister, RDN

The Positive And Negative Effects Of Social Media On Your Mental Health

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Billions of people use social media every day. This has changed the way we communicate with each other. These days, the average user spends 2 hours and 16 minutes every day on social media platforms. Although social media has given us an open door to more information than ever before, there are good and bad effects on our mental health due to our use of this technology.

What Is Social Media?

In simple words, social media is a computer-based technology that facilitates sharing your ideas, thoughts, and information. This is done through the building of virtual networks and communities. People engage with social media through a computer, tablet, or smartphone by using web-based applications.

What Is Social Media’s Effect on Mental Health?

There has been substantial growth in the use of social media in recent years.There has been substantial growth in the use of social media in recent years. The Pew Research Center found that 72% of Americans in the U.S. use social media. However, since social media use is still relatively new, there aren’t any long-term studies recording the effects of social media. 

Still, several recent studies show that social media impacts mental health in several ways. As a result, the increasing dependence on the use of social media puts a large number of Americans at an increased risk for feeling: 

What Are The Positive And Negative Effects Of Social Media?

Positive: Increases our awareness 

One of the great benefits of social media is that a person or organization can quickly increase awareness of an important issue to a huge audience. More people are using social media every day to promote change and help make positive changes in the world.

Negative: May contribute to fake news.

Even though many social media platforms have taken steps to try to combat fake news, it hasn’t stopped the worldwide spread of misinformation. Anyone with a computer or smartphone can share information with a massive audience and when used with bad intentions, it can have bad results.

Positive: It can help combat loneliness

Humans are social creatures with a need to socialize and connect with other people. Frequently, social media is blamed for replacing face-to-face communication. However, for some, social media is a way to promote conversations with like-minded people and build friendships. A recent survey showed that 70% of senior citizens are using social media to stay in touch with family, friends, and the outside world.

Negative: It can increase the feelings of loneliness and isolation

According to something called “social displacement theory,” the more time people spend on social media, the less time they are likely to spend face-to-face socializing. Although social media was meant to increase social interactions,  a survey found that those people who spent more time on social media every day felt lonelier than people who checked their social media less. Despite social media bringing people together digitally, it could be risking our in-person relationships and increase feelings of disconnection and isolation.

Positive: It makes you feel like you are not alone and part of a community 

It’s very typical to feel hesitant about talking to family and friends about health issues. But with so many health services and information available online, social media can give a person a safe space to ask questions and connect to a slew of health resources. For people living in a remote or rural area, social media is an inexpensive and usable option for getting help by providing resources to people who may not have access any other way.

Negative: It may support antisocial behavior

When it’s not used properly, social media can have unhealthy consequences for your mental health. If social media takes the place of any face-to-face interactions, it increases the likelihood of antisocial behavior. Although meant to bring us together, when social media is used incorrectly it can lead us to compare our lives with other peoples’ and have a hurtful impact on our well-being. Social media tends to only show the best parts of someone’s life. So, if you spend too much time looking at misleading or biased content, it can make you feel deficient in some way and cause serious psychological and physical problems including self-esteem.

Positive: It creates and maintains relationships

Because social media has changed the way we communicate with each other, it has changed how we make and preserve relationships. It is not only a useful tool for individuals who are looking for other people who share their views and have similar interests. It also provides an opportunity to meet and stay in touch with people from all over the world.

Negative: Cyberbullying

Even though social media creates opportunities to meet like-minded people and can help to support positive relationships and discussions, cyberbullying and trolling are major contributors to feelings of anxiety and depression. Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, bully, and intimidate another person. A recent study discovered that cyberbullying is associated with depression and suicide among teenagers. Furthermore, reports are suggesting that cyberbullying is increasing. Sadly, it’s an ongoing issue that is difficult for social media platforms to reduce.

Your feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness are increasing sharplySigns That Social Media Is Affecting Your Mental Health

  • It distracts you from work or homework.
  • You use it to escape from negative emotions.
  • You’re being cyberbullied or trolled.
  • You spend more time online than with your family and friends.
  • Your feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness are increasing sharply.

Social Media and Depression in Teens

The new research analyzed several studies of cyberbullying on social media and found that it is associated with depression in teenagers. Young people being victimized online has gotten a lot of attention, particularly after a series of suicides of teenagers who were bullied on various social networks.

The use of social media is common with teenagers, but the health effects of cyberbullying are mainly unknown. Regular, in-person bullying during the teen years may double the risk of depression in adulthood and the effects of bullying can be as bad as or worse than child abuse.

6 Tips To Protect Your Mental Health From Negative Effects Of Social Media

According to the American Psychiatric Association, more than one-third of adults in America believe social media is harmful to their mental health. And only 5% see it as being positive. Another 45% say it has both negative and positive effects. So here are 6 tips for protecting your mental health:

  1. Set a limit for when and where you use social media: You’ll have better connections with the people in your life if you set certain times each day when your notifications are off or your phone is in airplane mode.
  2. Have detox periods: Plan for regular multi-day breaks from social media. Several studies show that even a 5-day break from Facebook can lower your stress and improve your satisfaction with life. And you don’t have to go cold turkey. Just cutting back can result in lower loneliness and depression.
  3. Pay attention to what you do and how it makes you feel: Try using your favorite platforms for different amounts of time and at different times of the day. You may feel better after a few short spurts online than after 45 minutes or more.
  4. Use social media mindfully: Ask yourself why you’re using it. Are you trying to avoid something?
  5. Unfollow those who don’t serve a purpose: Take time to unfollow contacts or groups that are annoying or worse. Most won’t notice and your life will be better for it.
  6. Don’t let social media fool you, it’s not always realistic: Remember, most people post only what they want you to see on social media. Using platforms such as Facebook to keep up with friends and relatives is fine, but don’t let it be a replacement for in-person interactions.

Live Life, Don’t Just Read About It

Are you dealing with the negative effects of social media? Or are you dealing with depression and don’t know why? You know when you aren’t feeling quite right, whether it’s a result of social media or not. At Lido Wellness Center, we can work through this together and get you back to a more fulfilling life. 

Sometimes having a pre-existing mental condition can lead to substance abuse as a means to cope. At Lido Wellness Center, if you have developed multiple conditions, our dual diagnosis program can help treat your co-occurring disorder.  

Let us help you improve the way you feel and experience greater mental and emotional well-being. Contact us today. 

References

www.ontheline.org.au

www.livescience.com

www.investopedia.com

www.theconversation.com

Summer Social Media Break

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Stopping to smell the roses or admiring nature has always helped me focus on what is important. There is something about the air, trees, and liveliness of everything in nature, in my opinion. It helps to keep things simple in this over complicated world. The beginning of this summer is a bit different than last year where COVID rocked our existence and kept people inside and isolated. Instead of what we needed more of (e.g., nature, beach walks, family gatherings) we increased our use of social media and devices to get through the traumatic impact of the pandemic. It made sense to me, as I struggled and still struggle to put down my phone. It was all too much. It was time for a social media break.

Social Media Break

Slowing down this summer is not about saying “no” to family gatherings, vacation with loved ones, or getting out in nature, but slowing down the social media and device obsession. I know my online presence has increased in the last year, and I have gone back and forth with deleting and redownloading the Facebook app a few times. I have become somewhat of an anthropologist, recognizing that when I am feeling down, tired, or frustrated, I tend to reach for my phone to scroll and zone out, not having to think about my worries for a bit.

As a therapist, I know all too well I need to use healthier coping skills. I am currently working on that. I find that when I am zipping through social media, I can elicit emotions as I view. I can see things that bring on jealousy, joy, sadness, and anger as I flood my mind with endless feed. I begin to compare myself and life to others which robs me of experiencing contentment. It is as though I speed things up with the novelty of pages and messages on social media, even as I appear to have slowed things down lounging on the couch.

Slowing Down, Saying Yes

Slowing down this summer means saying “yes” to people, real people in person. Saying “yes” to the hike, walk, run, or beach walk is what we need more of today. Slowing down this summer means saying “no” to myself when I want to zone out and scroll and not connect with nature, people, and outside.

The way I connect in my life is walking outside. No need to put a lot of expectations on it, just put on the shoes, grab a loved one or not and start stepping into slowing down. Give yourself a break—a social media break.

Contact us now

Alyson Peña, LPCC
Clinical Director and Family Therapist

Finding Moments for Your Soul

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So often in our lives, we are looking for a quick fix to reduce our stress levels. We search for what is going to help us feel better fast. We turn to the internet, to google, to our friends and maybe even our therapists for answers. We want relief and we want it now. We are willing to try any coping skill or read any book that will bring us closer to feeling good. What if I told you that the answers to what would provide the most opportunity for joy and relief was already inside of you? Our own internal source of goodness. It’s what I like to call, your soul self. And you may be in need of soul healing.

What Is a Soul?

Each and every person has a soul. We are born with it. As children, it was easy for us to listen to our soul selves and what brought us joy. It is reinforced for children to pursue joy through imagination, play and adventure. As we get older, we are taught to value different things. Work, success, relationships, and accomplishments become the focus of our attention. We start to forget how to play.

It doesn’t seem as important as paying the bills, saving for a house or getting that next promotion. We become stressed. Our soul selves start to grow quieter, and we are less connected to the things that bring us true joy.

Take a minute and think about the last time you felt truly joyful and alive. What were some of the components that made up this day? Who did you experience this joy with? What was the scenery? What activities did you participate in? Try and imagine it again as vividly as you can. This is a soul moment. Soul moments give us so much information on what truly sparks joy for us.

Soul Healing With Soul Moments

When I picture a soul moment, I think of a recent visit to the beach with my mother. She was visiting from out of town. We sat in the warm sand of Corona Del Mar after brunch and watched the water. I felt so happy to be spending time with her, the weather was perfect and being connected to nature together was such a treat. Childlike wonder washed over us both as dolphins began to appear dancing in the waves. We giggled and shouted for joy. I cherish this memory. It gave me some deep soul healing.

Soul moments make our lives worth living. Soul moments replenish us when we are feeling drained. I find the more we are able to identify soul moments, the more we are able to feel life giving emotions such as joy and gratitude.

Permission to Play

As adults, we may need to give ourselves more permission to explore, play or rest. This permission could allow for further soul moments to unfold. If you are having trouble with where to start, consider what brought you joy as a child. Our inner child has so much to offer when it comes to pursuing soul moments. For example, when I was young, I loved taking walks in the woods, looking for animals and giant leaves. As an adult, this might translate to going for a hike or visiting a national park.

Keep a Soul Record

Try recording some of your soul healing moments in a journal to look back upon. We need these records when darker days come along; a reminder that life is good and joy is attainable. In April, Lido Wellness Center is  honoring stress awareness month. A soul moment could be just what you need to feel better and decrease your adult stress.

So, this month, consider consulting your soul or your inner child for guidance. Go from there. Find your own adventure and let your soul guide you to cultivating more joy. You might find the simple action of recalling yours brings you some relief. From my soul to yours – enjoy the journey!

Lido Wellness Center offers counseling, partial hospitalization (PHP for mental health), and intensive outpatient programs for mental health assistance. If you are struggling with mental illness or just need to figure some things out, call us today.

Contact us now

Amy VanBecelaere, LCPC, R-DMT

Primary Therapist