What Is Emotional Numbness?

Feelings are good. We share them. We discuss them. They get hurt. They tell us when things matter. And when they don’t. Sometimes they overwhelm us and sometimes they are just background to our days. They come when you get a random email. When someone cuts you off. When you accidentally drive down a street you haven’t in years. But sometimes they are conspicuously … gone. No feelings at all. When you are pretty sure there are supposed to be feelings. If this is happening to you, let’s talk about emotional numbness.

What it is, what might be causing it, and what you can do about it.

What Is Emotional Numbness?

Emotional numbness is different from feeling calm. It’s different from being disconnected (or shocked) during a stressful situation. It’s a little like describing something through its absence. It is also a bit of a disconnect. From yourself and from the intimacy of the wild world around you.

You know in your brain there should be some kind of reaction here. Your blood should pound, boil, or at least warm up a little.

Happiness seems muted. Sadness can seem far away. Excitement does not quite make it through the door. Even affection toward people you love may feel strangely distant.

Sometimes the only way to describe it is to look yourself in the mirror in the morning and say, “I feel numb.”

What Does Emotionally Numb Mean?

So, there is not really a condition called not-feeling-things-anymore. Usually, emotional numbness is a bit of a side effect to other conditions. You might struggle with depression. Maybe there has been trauma. Even anxiety and a bunch of stress can make someone feel numb.

With these things, it is sometimes your mind’s way of reducing emotional overload.

It needs to turn down the pain, but there’s not really an on-off switch for bad emotions vs good emotions. Trying to mute the difficult feelings means your brain also turned down joy, connection, interest, and pleasure.

But there are deeper “whys” too. And understanding why you feel emotionally numb can be an important first step toward feeling more like yourself again.

“I Feel Numb”: How Do I Know If I’m Experiencing Emotional Numbness?

Emotional numbness is not identical for everyone. For some, the numbness is full like Novocain on your soul. Just empty. Others find it less dramatic. Less full. More quiet. Not completely gone, but might as well be.

Wondering if you have emotional numbness that affects your life?

You might notice:

• Activities you normally enjoy feel uninteresting or strangely flat.
• You feel disconnected from people you genuinely love.
• Happy events produce little excitement or pleasure.
• You have difficulty crying even when you know you are hurting.
• You feel as though you are simply going through the motions of everyday life.
• You struggle to identify what you are feeling.
• Your surroundings or experiences occasionally feel unreal or distant.
• You withdraw socially because interacting with people requires more emotional energy than you seem to possess.
• You repeatedly think, “I feel numb, and I don’t know why.”

There is also an important difference between emotional numbness and simply being a less emotionally expressive person.

What If I Just Don’t Feel That Much Naturally?

Emotions hit different. We have to remember that emotions fall into the category of, “There is no wrong answer here.” Some people feel things like getting kicked in the gut. Others just process things more internally or may be less expressive in how they show how they feel. Some cry during insurance commercials others can watch Old Yeller and just wonder about dog training in cinema.

The more useful question is whether something has changed for you?

If your emotional life used to feel richer and now feels flattened, distant, inaccessible, or unfamiliar, that change deserves attention.

What Can Cause Emotional Numbness?

There is rarely one universal explanation for emotional numbness.

Human beings are complex. It would be nice to get a printout that said, “Your emotional numbness is 63% chronic stress and 37% unresolved grief.”

Instead, we generally have to investigate.

Chronic stress is one possible contributor. The nervous system is remarkably capable of adapting to prolonged demands, but adaptation has limits. When stress continues for weeks, months, or years, emotional responsiveness can change.

Trauma can also create emotional numbing. Following frightening or overwhelming experiences, some people experience something called dissociation or detachment. It’s your brain trying to protect you from emotional intensity.

Grief can sometimes produce numbness as well. We tend to imagine grief as visible sadness, but grief is much stranger than that. A person can experience enormous loss and temporarily feel almost nothing. That absence of emotion can itself become distressing: Why am I not crying? Why don’t I feel what I’m supposed to feel?

There’s more …

Burnout, prolonged sleep deprivation, isolation, substance use, and certain medications may also affect emotional experience. If emotional numbness begins after starting or changing a medication, it is important to discuss that with the prescribing medical professional rather than stopping medication abruptly.

And then there are mental health conditions themselves.

Emotional Numbness and Depression

People commonly associate depression with sadness. Sadness certainly can be part of depression, but depression does not always feel sad.

Sometimes depression feels like nothing.

Depression can also affect motivation, concentration, sleep, appetite, energy, self-esteem, and the ability to imagine positive experiences in the future. When several of these changes occur alongside emotional numbness and persist over time, a professional mental health assessment may help determine what is happening.

Emotionally Numb From Anxiety

Anxiety sounds like the opposite of numbness.

Anxiety is supposed to be too much: too much worry, too much fear, too much thinking at 2:14 a.m. about a conversation from Thursday.

And often it is.

But lots of anxiety gets exhausting. When the nervous system remains activated for what feels like forever, some people’s emotions just shut down.

How to Fix Emotional Numbness

There is not one trick that suddenly restores emotional connection. When we work with folks experiencing numbness, our goal is to help the person understand what is creating or maintaining the numbness and address those underlying factors.

We ask them to start with something surprisingly difficult: notice what is happening without immediately demanding that it stop.

People who feel numb often start monitoring themselves constantly.

Am I happy yet?

Did I enjoy that?

Why didn’t I laugh more?

Do I feel something now?

This can create additional anxiety around emotional experience. Feelings generally do not perform particularly well when somebody is standing over them with a clipboard.

Instead, begin noticing subtle experiences.

What feels pleasant? What feels uncomfortable? When do you feel slightly more present? Are there certain people, environments, activities, memories, or sensations that produce even a small emotional response?

Sleep, movement, nutrition, social connection, time outdoors, creative activities, mindfulness practices, and reducing chronic stress can all help here. These are not replacements for mental health treatment when treatment is needed. But they are ways of giving your nervous system conditions that may make emotional connection easier.

When “I Feel Numb” May Be a Sign to Seek Mental Health Treatment

If emotional numbness persists, interferes with relationships or daily functioning, accompanies significant depression or anxiety, or makes you feel disconnected from your own life, professional support may be appropriate.

Treatment begins by understanding the person rather than simply trying to eliminate a symptom.

Emotional Numbness Does Not Have to Become Your Normal

If you’re repeatedly thinking, “I feel numb,” and it is becoming harder to connect with yourself, your relationships, or your everyday life, Lido Wellness Center can help you understand what may be happening and what treatment options are available.

Call Lido Wellness Center in Newport Beach at 949-541-8466 to learn more about our mental health PHP and IOP programs. Take the time to begin finding your way back to yourself, today.