Best Anxiety Treatment Centers Near Me

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Listed among the best anxiety treatment centers near me, LIDO Wellness Center has helped numerous patients with trauma and PTSD attain a safe and speedy recovery with an integrated and evidence-based approach. Here are a few qualities that make us the best treatment center in Orange County:

We Offer Multiple Level Of Care

We offer three levels of mental health care programs – PHP, IOP, and Outpatient treatment. You can choose the treatment program that best caters to your mental health needs. Our psychiatric treatment programs are highly effective and can help you begin on a liberating journey towards a better and brighter tomorrow.

We Use Evidence-Based Treatments

Our treatment facility believes in using a science-based approach to help patients diagnosed with mental illnesses. We use psychotherapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, somatic experiencing, dialectical behavioral therapy, etc., to address mental and behavioral disorders.

We Provide Ongoing Support 

Our relationship with our clients does not end the day they leave our treatment facility after PTSD and trauma treatment. We offer the best ongoing care programs to help our clients stay mentally healthy in the long term.

Specialized Treatment Facility

We are one of the specialized trauma and PTSD treatment centers. Joining us can help you achieve a safe, speedy, and sustainable recovery from your traumatic life events and tormenting memories.

High Success Rate

Our PTSD treatment in Orange County has a high success rate, and over 95% of our alumni clients lead a healthy, happy, and successful life after attending therapy from us. Our success rate and high rating on Google vouch for the efficacy of our staff and the psychotherapies we offer.

A Focus On Underlying Issues

A mental health issue often arises from an underlying trauma or memory. Our PTSD treatment program aims to identify your mental health’s triggering factors and addresses them via evidence-based therapies and counseling.

1-on-1 Therapies

While group therapy programs are great, they might not work as a standalone treatment. Our therapists meet with our clients on a 1-on-1 basis and conduct individual therapy for several hours. These therapy sessions allow our clients to let go of their shields and confide their deepest insecurities with our psychiatrists and mental health experts. Our clinical staff then offers appropriate suggestions, therapies, and lifestyle recommendations to help clients overcome their shortcomings.

Customized Treatment Approach

Unlike other trauma treatment facilities, we use a customized recovery approach to help patients. Our staff conducts a comprehensive physical and mental health exam on our patients upon onboarding and creates a tailored recovery blueprint. We set wellness goals and use the personalized treatment plan as a yardstick to measure our patients’ progress in recovery.

Experienced Staff

We are a team of experienced clinicians and behavioral therapists committed to helping individuals overcome their psychiatric shortcomings and lead a healthy life. Our clinical staff is some of the most talented specialists in Orange County dedicated to the well-being of their patients. With several years of experience and ongoing education, our behavioral therapists and psychiatrists offer the best care and support to patients battling mental disorders.

Your search for the top-rated anxiety treatment centers near me ends here. Call LIDO Wellness Center at 949-541-8466 to sign up for treatment with us. Our dedicated and friendly staff can guide you toward your wellness goals and help you attain holistic recovery from your mental disorders.

Success at Lido – From Our Founding Vision to Clinical Reality, and Everything in Between

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As the Executive Director and Co-Founder of Lido Wellness Center (LWC), I often get asked how my own mental health doesn’t take a dive as I am, daily, surrounded by the struggles of our clients, and consistently hearing about all they’ve encountered and endured. Interestingly, however, I view my space within the mental health community in a completely different light. I don’t feel drained by the work I do. In fact, I have always felt deeply moved, challenged, and honored to bear witness to our clients’ biggest discoveries and personal changes. Their courage and resilience through incredible difficulty inspires me daily, and makes me so certain that this work chose me – it called me – and I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life. This is the inspiration that formulated LWC’s founding vision, and urged us continually onward and upward in the treatment world.

I can also humbly credit LWC’s growth and success to its clinical treatment approach and offerings. As we always affirm and strongly project in our program design, LWC’s official mission is to be the last treatment episode our clients will need before they finally embark on a fulfilling life of better health and enhanced wellness. This clinical approach is specifically designed to restore meaning, purpose, and connection to our clients’ lives. To this end, our clinical providers consciously examine clients – focusing on their behaviors, current beliefs, and their present symptoms – while simultaneously conducting a deep exploration into the past elements and experiences that contributed to the development of that specific symptom presentation. We do all of this with an utmost emphasis on emotional safety, keeping our clients’ needs at the forefront.

While we prioritize emotional safety, we also openly acknowledge that the healing journey is not always comfortable – in fact it’s largely uncomfortable. Healing from old patterns and maladaptive behaviors is difficult. Despite this difficulty and discomfort, and in the face of any challenge, the LWC team is unfaltering in the execution of their expertise and unwavering in their compassionate support.

Our clinical programming, in support and furtherance of our vision, is so valuable in practice. When a client is going through a painful experience, it’s vital that their mental health providers can support and hold that pain, while assisting that individual in discovering ways in which they, too, can hold and manage their own pain while nevertheless making room for new, positive emotions. LWC’s philosophical and practical mental health approach introduces clients to the skills and interventions necessary for healthy emotional and behavioral processing.

In the wake of trauma, our bodies adapt to survive, but simultaneously place us in a constant, and exhausting, state of vigilance. But, through LWC’s human-centric treatment approach, our courageous clients dive into self-discovery, shake up ineffective practices that no longer serve them, and establish and re-establish connections, skills, and beliefs that help them, not just survive, but thrive.

For anyone reading this who is thinking about seeking treatment at LWC, yet may remain unsure, I want you to know that healing is possible! LWC patients are some of the most inspiring and fearless individuals I’ve ever been graced to work with, and their commitment to treatment is extraordinary. You, too, are capable of doing difficult things and achieving a healthier and happier life! Treatment is hard work, this is certainly true, but I know this for certain—it is much harder to live a life out of alignment, absent wellness, and lacking purpose and meaning.

by Lesley Tate-Gould, PsyD, SEP
Co-Founder & Executive Director

The Positive And Negative Effects Of Social Media On Your Mental Health

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Billions of people use social media every day. This has changed the way we communicate with each other. These days, the average user spends 2 hours and 16 minutes every day on social media platforms. Although social media has given us an open door to more information than ever before, there are good and bad effects on our mental health due to our use of this technology.

What Is Social Media?

In simple words, social media is a computer-based technology that facilitates sharing your ideas, thoughts, and information. This is done through the building of virtual networks and communities. People engage with social media through a computer, tablet, or smartphone by using web-based applications.

What Is Social Media’s Effect on Mental Health?

There has been substantial growth in the use of social media in recent years.There has been substantial growth in the use of social media in recent years. The Pew Research Center found that 72% of Americans in the U.S. use social media. However, since social media use is still relatively new, there aren’t any long-term studies recording the effects of social media. 

Still, several recent studies show that social media impacts mental health in several ways. As a result, the increasing dependence on the use of social media puts a large number of Americans at an increased risk for feeling: 

What Are The Positive And Negative Effects Of Social Media?

Positive: Increases our awareness 

One of the great benefits of social media is that a person or organization can quickly increase awareness of an important issue to a huge audience. More people are using social media every day to promote change and help make positive changes in the world.

Negative: May contribute to fake news.

Even though many social media platforms have taken steps to try to combat fake news, it hasn’t stopped the worldwide spread of misinformation. Anyone with a computer or smartphone can share information with a massive audience and when used with bad intentions, it can have bad results.

Positive: It can help combat loneliness

Humans are social creatures with a need to socialize and connect with other people. Frequently, social media is blamed for replacing face-to-face communication. However, for some, social media is a way to promote conversations with like-minded people and build friendships. A recent survey showed that 70% of senior citizens are using social media to stay in touch with family, friends, and the outside world.

Negative: It can increase the feelings of loneliness and isolation

According to something called “social displacement theory,” the more time people spend on social media, the less time they are likely to spend face-to-face socializing. Although social media was meant to increase social interactions,  a survey found that those people who spent more time on social media every day felt lonelier than people who checked their social media less. Despite social media bringing people together digitally, it could be risking our in-person relationships and increase feelings of disconnection and isolation.

Positive: It makes you feel like you are not alone and part of a community 

It’s very typical to feel hesitant about talking to family and friends about health issues. But with so many health services and information available online, social media can give a person a safe space to ask questions and connect to a slew of health resources. For people living in a remote or rural area, social media is an inexpensive and usable option for getting help by providing resources to people who may not have access any other way.

Negative: It may support antisocial behavior

When it’s not used properly, social media can have unhealthy consequences for your mental health. If social media takes the place of any face-to-face interactions, it increases the likelihood of antisocial behavior. Although meant to bring us together, when social media is used incorrectly it can lead us to compare our lives with other peoples’ and have a hurtful impact on our well-being. Social media tends to only show the best parts of someone’s life. So, if you spend too much time looking at misleading or biased content, it can make you feel deficient in some way and cause serious psychological and physical problems including self-esteem.

Positive: It creates and maintains relationships

Because social media has changed the way we communicate with each other, it has changed how we make and preserve relationships. It is not only a useful tool for individuals who are looking for other people who share their views and have similar interests. It also provides an opportunity to meet and stay in touch with people from all over the world.

Negative: Cyberbullying

Even though social media creates opportunities to meet like-minded people and can help to support positive relationships and discussions, cyberbullying and trolling are major contributors to feelings of anxiety and depression. Cyberbullying is the use of technology to harass, bully, and intimidate another person. A recent study discovered that cyberbullying is associated with depression and suicide among teenagers. Furthermore, reports are suggesting that cyberbullying is increasing. Sadly, it’s an ongoing issue that is difficult for social media platforms to reduce.

Your feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness are increasing sharplySigns That Social Media Is Affecting Your Mental Health

  • It distracts you from work or homework.
  • You use it to escape from negative emotions.
  • You’re being cyberbullied or trolled.
  • You spend more time online than with your family and friends.
  • Your feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness are increasing sharply.

Social Media and Depression in Teens

The new research analyzed several studies of cyberbullying on social media and found that it is associated with depression in teenagers. Young people being victimized online has gotten a lot of attention, particularly after a series of suicides of teenagers who were bullied on various social networks.

The use of social media is common with teenagers, but the health effects of cyberbullying are mainly unknown. Regular, in-person bullying during the teen years may double the risk of depression in adulthood and the effects of bullying can be as bad as or worse than child abuse.

6 Tips To Protect Your Mental Health From Negative Effects Of Social Media

According to the American Psychiatric Association, more than one-third of adults in America believe social media is harmful to their mental health. And only 5% see it as being positive. Another 45% say it has both negative and positive effects. So here are 6 tips for protecting your mental health:

  1. Set a limit for when and where you use social media: You’ll have better connections with the people in your life if you set certain times each day when your notifications are off or your phone is in airplane mode.
  2. Have detox periods: Plan for regular multi-day breaks from social media. Several studies show that even a 5-day break from Facebook can lower your stress and improve your satisfaction with life. And you don’t have to go cold turkey. Just cutting back can result in lower loneliness and depression.
  3. Pay attention to what you do and how it makes you feel: Try using your favorite platforms for different amounts of time and at different times of the day. You may feel better after a few short spurts online than after 45 minutes or more.
  4. Use social media mindfully: Ask yourself why you’re using it. Are you trying to avoid something?
  5. Unfollow those who don’t serve a purpose: Take time to unfollow contacts or groups that are annoying or worse. Most won’t notice and your life will be better for it.
  6. Don’t let social media fool you, it’s not always realistic: Remember, most people post only what they want you to see on social media. Using platforms such as Facebook to keep up with friends and relatives is fine, but don’t let it be a replacement for in-person interactions.

Live Life, Don’t Just Read About It

Are you dealing with the negative effects of social media? Or are you dealing with depression and don’t know why? You know when you aren’t feeling quite right, whether it’s a result of social media or not. At Lido Wellness Center, we can work through this together and get you back to a more fulfilling life. 

Sometimes having a pre-existing mental condition can lead to substance abuse as a means to cope. At Lido Wellness Center, if you have developed multiple conditions, our dual diagnosis program can help treat your co-occurring disorder.  

Let us help you improve the way you feel and experience greater mental and emotional well-being. Contact us today. 

References

www.ontheline.org.au

www.livescience.com

www.investopedia.com

www.theconversation.com

Is Mental Illness A Disability?

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Mental health is being increasingly recognized as an important and valid factor in our daily lives. As a result, there are many supports and systems in place to assist those who experience some form of mental illness. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) defines mental illness as a health condition that involves changes in emotion, thinking, or behavior. It can refer to a variety of diagnosable mental disorders.

Because of the greater focus on mental health, a big question is “Is mental illness a disability?” Mental illness and disability are far more related than we might think. For those who experience disruptions in their day-to-day activities due to their mental illness or have decreased performance in these activities, mental illness is considered a psychiatric disability.

However, mental health is a spectrum, so each person may experience different levels of impairments in their daily activities. If you or a loved one have a mental illness and or a disability, the information provided here will provide more clarity to the question of “Is mental illness a disability?”

What Is The ADA And How Does It Qualify Psychiatric Disabilities?

The American Disabilities Act (ADA) has been in place since 1990 to prevent discrimination against individuals with disabilities in the workplace.The American Disabilities Act (ADA) has been in place since 1990 to prevent discrimination against individuals with disabilities in the workplace. The ADA classifies a disability as a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more of the major life activities of an individual. This means that any physical or mental condition is protected as a disability if it impacts a person’s capabilities.

Mental illness and disability often go hand-in-hand. However, it is important to note that the ADA does not guarantee that a mental impairment is evidence of a disability. Instead, an impairment can be part of a disability if it substantially limits major life activities. A psychiatric disability can include conditions like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and beyond. Any of these conditions have the potential to limit a person’s capability to complete daily activities.

Discussing Mental Illness In The Workplace

If you or a loved one have a mental health problem, you have the option to disclose it to your employer. Keep in mind that it is not mandatory to disclose mental health problems to your employer and that it is your choice. However, you may choose to disclose if you are looking to request reasonable accommodation in the workplace. A notice to an employer can look different for everyone and only requires that you clarify that a medical condition is a reason for the request. If you request a reasonable accommodation, an employer can ask for medical information.

Other situations where an employer may ask for medical information include during a survey, once the job is offered if it is asked of everybody, or regarding a significant safety concern regarding one’s ability to complete a task. Any information you disclose can only be used by the employer and cannot be shared with any coworkers or individuals. Additionally, an employer cannot discriminate or use any information you provide against you.

When Is Mental Illness a Disability?

The SSA Blue Book lists various physical and mental conditions that fit the SSA definition of a disability and the criteria a person must meet to receive disability benefits. Representatives from the SSA reference the Blue Book to determine whether someone meets the criteria to qualify for and receive SSDI or SSI benefits.

The Blue Book lists a multitude of mental illnesses and breaks them into 11 categories. The categories listed in the Blue Book are:

  • The SSA Blue Book lists various physical and mental conditions that fit the SSA definition of a disability and the criteria a person must meet to receive disability benefits.Neurocognitive disorders
  • Schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorders
  • Depressive, bipolar, and related disorders
  • Intellectual disorder
  • Anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders
  • Somatic symptom and related disorders
  • Personality and impulse-control disorders
  • Autism spectrum disorder
  • Neurodevelopmental disorders
  • Eating disorders
  • Trauma and stress-related disorders

Depending on the mental illness, you or a loved one will need to meet certain criteria to be eligible to receive disability insurance. The Blue Book documents the medical criteria that you or a loved one must demonstrate for each category in your medical evidence. It also documents what criteria are used for each category to assess how your mental disorder affects up to four areas of daily functioning.

To be eligible for benefits, a condition must result in “extreme” or “marked” limitation in at least two areas of daily functioning. A disability is also supported by evidence proving that it has not improved with medication. The Blue Book helps provide a case-by-case answer to the question of “Is mental illness a disability?”.

Is My Mental Illness a Disability?

As an example, anxiety and depression are two common mental illnesses and can be considered a disability by the Social Security Administration (SSA). However, it can be difficult to receive benefits for anxiety or depression disorders since it is challenging to document the degree and everyone has a different experience, making the evidence subjective. This means that it is important to have documentation from a physician and mental health professional to demonstrate your history of the disorders.

The SSA specifies that the medical impairment must have prevented an individual from being able to work. As a result, medical documentation should also demonstrate how anxiety or depression disorder has affected your daily living or employment capabilities.

Receiving Social Security Disability For Mental Disorders

Once enough evidence has been established, you or a loved one have the option to receive social security disability for mental disordersOnce enough evidence has been established, you or a loved one have the option to receive social security disability for mental disorders. Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) and Supplemental Security Insurance (SSI) provide options for people with disabilities to receive financial assistance. However, SSDI is only available to those who have been able to work in the past and have contributed to Social Security taxes.

Receiving Social Security disability for mental disorders is ultimately like receiving benefits for physical disabilities, although they may be more difficult to prove. In any case, eligibility will depend on the degree to which a disability affects your daily functioning and ability to maintain employment.

You or a loved one can apply for SSDI benefits either online, at an SSA office, or over the phone. You can apply for SSI either in person or over the phone.

For more information on mental illness and disability and the question of “Is mental illness a disability?” contact us here at Lido Wellness Center in Newport Beach, CA. We are committed to providing holistic, comprehensive care and making a positive difference in your life.

References:

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/what-is-mental-illness 

https://adata.org/factsheet/health 

https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/12.00-MentalDisorders-Adult.htm 

https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/guidance/enforcement-guidance-ada-and-psychiatric-disabilities

Summer Social Media Break

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Stopping to smell the roses or admiring nature has always helped me focus on what is important. There is something about the air, trees, and liveliness of everything in nature, in my opinion. It helps to keep things simple in this over complicated world. The beginning of this summer is a bit different than last year where COVID rocked our existence and kept people inside and isolated. Instead of what we needed more of (e.g., nature, beach walks, family gatherings) we increased our use of social media and devices to get through the traumatic impact of the pandemic. It made sense to me, as I struggled and still struggle to put down my phone. It was all too much. It was time for a social media break.

Social Media Break

Slowing down this summer is not about saying “no” to family gatherings, vacation with loved ones, or getting out in nature, but slowing down the social media and device obsession. I know my online presence has increased in the last year, and I have gone back and forth with deleting and redownloading the Facebook app a few times. I have become somewhat of an anthropologist, recognizing that when I am feeling down, tired, or frustrated, I tend to reach for my phone to scroll and zone out, not having to think about my worries for a bit.

As a therapist, I know all too well I need to use healthier coping skills. I am currently working on that. I find that when I am zipping through social media, I can elicit emotions as I view. I can see things that bring on jealousy, joy, sadness, and anger as I flood my mind with endless feed. I begin to compare myself and life to others which robs me of experiencing contentment. It is as though I speed things up with the novelty of pages and messages on social media, even as I appear to have slowed things down lounging on the couch.

Slowing Down, Saying Yes

Slowing down this summer means saying “yes” to people, real people in person. Saying “yes” to the hike, walk, run, or beach walk is what we need more of today. Slowing down this summer means saying “no” to myself when I want to zone out and scroll and not connect with nature, people, and outside.

The way I connect in my life is walking outside. No need to put a lot of expectations on it, just put on the shoes, grab a loved one or not and start stepping into slowing down. Give yourself a break—a social media break.

Contact us now

Alyson Peña, LPCC
Clinical Director and Family Therapist

Grief, loneliness, and shattered worldview in regard to covid-19

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Grief, we are all feeling it these days, some more than others, and more than ever some are going at it alone.  At our core, we all understand that one day life will present us with individualized grief and suffering, and under healthy circumstances, grief is a complex process that is not linear. As the reality of Covid-19 set in over the past 12-months, our familiarity with grief became unavoidable. What Covid-19 has done to complicate an already complex human condition is the abrupt dismantling of the external distractions that once helped us cope with grief, loss, and suffering. We are aware that our most successful attempts at healing grief and loss are found through the bonds and connections we have with our family, friends, and social supports. Within these deep bonds and connections, true healing occurs.  Covid-19 has forced many into abrupt isolation, uncertainty, and away from the very connections our mind, body, brain, spirit require for healing. We have been stuck in an intense form of uncertainty for the past 12-months, uncertainty of how and when this new normal will end. This shift in our ways of coping has created a deeper schism. One that has shattered our internal and external constructs of how we view ourselves and the world. Loss of the assumptive world view is not a new concept, but it is a theory on grief and suffering that seems most fitting for these unprecedented times.

What are the internal constructs that human beings make about the self and the world? According to the theory developed by Jeffrey Kauffman, the assumptive world is an organized schema reflecting all that a person assumes to be true about the world and the self. These assumptions are based on previous experiences; it refers to the assumptions and beliefs that ground, secure, and orient people, beliefs that give a sense of reality, meaning, or purpose to life. The three core assumptions that shape our worldview are: the world is benevolent; the world is meaningful; the self is worthy.

The assumptive grief that we are all facing and living through is the cause of the ache we experience when we have lost those things that we believed were a stable, consistent, or predictable part of our lives. This includes personal and professional opportunities and those planned vacations or life milestones we were counting on celebrating. Covid-19 has created this ache, and any semblance of predictability for living has been removed from our control.

In addition to the dismantling of internal-external constructs, we have plunged into loneliness unlike we have ever known. The work of Dr. Vivek Murthy on loneliness comes to mind when thinking of our current collective grief. Dr. Murthy’s research found that as human beings, we require three dimensions of connection. Beginning with intimate connections (family or intimate partner), relational connections (friendships, people you can be yourself around), and collective connections (a community of like-minded individuals) and it takes only one of these dimensions to be absent in order for a person to experience intense loneliness. As stated earlier, Covid-19 has disconnected many of us from these three dimensions. We have been pushed out of our comfort zones and forced to learn how to grieve, heal, and create new meaning without these three dimensions of social connection.

So, what do we do? How can we manage and cope with this complex grief, loneliness and shattered world views when so much is not in our control?

We can take action, action that is based on our values. When every other choice is removed from our control, we are left with one option: to engage in values-based action. Whether you value truth, integrity, being of service, or loving and healthy relationships, remaining focused on our values is the only choice left. Remaining true to your internal value system will provide a healthy internal and external environment for healing. Values-based action is a strategy taken from the therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, as one of the six core principles aimed at developing psychological flexibility that leads to living a rich, full, and meaningful life.

Dr. Russ Harris adapted several strategies for the popular therapy Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) developed by Dr. Steven Hayes. The one technique developed by Dr. Harris, ACE (acknowledge/acceptance, come back into the body, engage in values-based action) and the 6-core processes of ACT, work to help individuals come to the acceptance that we all will find ourselves in pain and suffering but we can find our way through the suffering with acceptance and values-based action.

Below is a description of the strategy developed by Dr. Russ Harris and ACT.
ACE:
Acknowledge and Accept (the things we cannot change)
Come back into the body (through mindfulness, meditation, grounding/resourcing)
Engage in values-based action (your guiding principles to living)

Although we have been thrust into a new normal and many of our internal constructs of the self and world have been shattered, we must still remember to connect whenever possible. Our biology is organized around our social needs, and we cannot go long without meeting this need. So, begin to find any way to connect, and when a connection is not possible through others, continue to allow your values to guide your actions.

Contact us now

Janie Montiel, AMFT
Primary Therapist

If the theory of Assumptive Grief developed by Jeffrey Kauffman or the research on loneliness by Dr. Murthy, or the simple yet effective strategy developed by Dr. Harris resonates, below are a few resources.

Books:

Loss of the Assumptive World

A Theory of Traumatic Loss By: Jeffrey Kauffman

The Happiness Trap

How to Stop Struggling and Start Living By: Dr. Russ Harris

Website:

https://www.actmindfully.com.au

Podcast:

Unlocking Us with Brene Brown

Dr. Vivek Murthy and Brene on loneliness and connection

https://brenebrown.com/podcast/dr-vivek-murthy-and-brene-on-loneliness-and-connection/

The Journey Of Understanding And Treating Eating Disorders

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When I was an early career psychologist, if you had asked me my thoughts on working with eating disordered patients my knee jerk response may have sounded something like, “I don’t get it, if you’re hungry eat, if you’re not hungry don’t eat, simple”. Insert present self wanting to offer former self some words of advice- our relationship to food is often not that simple.

Flash forward a few years. No longer completely green and having made a big career change from working primarily with children ages 3-17, I found myself gearing up to work in a residential program treating you guessed it, primary eating disorders and substance use disorders. Fortunately, I possessed enough self-awareness to know that my old thinking patterns about treating eating disorders would be disastrous if I hoped to be successful and an agent of change. I threw myself head first into getting my hands on any and every book I could about eating disorders.

And then it hit me. While yes, eating disorders, as the name implies, are about a person’s relationship to food and their body, the research and hours of clinical practice I was participating in weekly began to emerge more unrelated explanations of these complex symptoms. It was in this phase of discovery that I had empathy for that early career psychologist who could not see this connection, not because of a lack of education or sensitivity, but because so often when something hits so close to home, we cannot or in some cases will not see it. While I credit my years of education and training as a psychologist in protecting me from developing disordered eating, I was no stranger to some of the more insidious characteristics of these disorders, including proneness toward perfectionism, a highly critical inner-voice and frequent experience of shame.

The metaphorical and emotional components of these characteristics, with all due respect, do make the food behaviors and body connection simpler to navigate. Those struggling with eating disorders will objectify their bodies, some in an effort to simplify the process of navigating their emotional landscape. Others will mirror their food choices with their belief system that may chronically say, “you don’t matter, you don’t deserve to take up space”, thus resulting in a deprivation of nourishment and spirit, threatening to erase their existence both spiritually and physically for good.

The physiological, emotional and spiritual components of healing from an eating disorder are long, laborious, AND possible. The healing journey is a simultaneous effort to address the tangible elements of restoring nourishment and signals to the body and addressing the intangible-the complexities of embodied emotions, repairing attachment injuries, noticing our subtle and sometimes intense sensations and spirituality to regain our footing and trust that WE DESERVE TO BE HERE.

Roth (2010) captures this integrative healing journey exquisitely in Women, Food and God:

Instead, ask yourself what you love. Without fear of consequences, without force or shame or guilt. What motivates you to be kind, to take care of your body, your spirit, others, the earth? Trust the longing, trust the love that can be translated into action without the threat of punishment. Trust that you will not destroy what matters most. Give yourself that much.

Contact us now

Dr. Lesley Tate-Gould, PsyD, SEP

References:

Roth, G. (2010). Women food and God. Simon and Schuster.

Normalizing Healthy Conflict

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A lot of us were not shown how to disagree, argue, or have healthy conflict with other people, especially close loved ones. The role modeling of our parents at a young age resolving conflict is so influential to how we interact with people as adults when we don’t see eye to eye. Just like most things learned, a couple must practice. Step away from the comfort of sweeping things under the rug, exploding, or shutting down and step into courage; courage to show up in your relationship responsibility and maturely.

Connection, Break, Repair – This is the cycle of any close relationship. There is a connection with someone, building trust, shared interests, experiences. Then usually there is some sort of break where one person gets hurt, upsets the other, or loses trust. In a lot of relationships and families after the break there is no repair of what happened. Without a healthy repair and normalization of disagreements and differences, resentment can grow silently and patterns of withdrawal and unhealthy expression can develop. Repair is essential in managing healthy conflict.

Communication repair tools are meant to be used to get up and over differences or obstacles between two people. I have discovered that some couples (or just one partner) can desire lengthy explanations, emotional dialogue that can go on for hours, which can complicate repair with too many words. Now, I do know that some long conversations can be beneficial and feel good for couples at times, but learning a repair tool that can be used as practice and ease some disagreements and conflicts is key to normalizing healthy conflict.

I suggest couples set a day/time to have marriage/relationship meetings once a week for 20-30 minutes with no devices. This helps the two individuals to come prepared to talk and provides a space to pay attention to the health of their relationship. During these A lot of us were not shown how to disagree, argue, or have healthy conflict with other people, especially close loved ones. The role modeling of our parents at a young age resolving conflict is so influential to how we interact with people as adults when we don’t see eye to eye. Just like most things learned, a couple must practice. Step away from the comfort of sweeping things under the rug, exploding, or shutting down and step into courage; courage to show up in your relationship responsibility and maturely.

Connection, Break, Repair – This is the cycle of any close relationship. There is a connection with someone, building trust, shared interests, experiences. Then usually there is some sort of break where one person gets hurt, upsets the other, or loses trust. In a lot of relationships and families after the break there is no repair of what happened. Without a healthy repair and normalization of disagreements and differences, resentment can grow silently and patterns of withdrawal and unhealthy expression can develop. Repair is essential in managing healthy conflict.

Communication repair tools are meant to be used to get up and over differences or obstacles between two people. I have discovered that some couples (or just one partner) can desire lengthy explanations, emotional dialogue that can go on for hours, which can complicate repair with too many words. Now, I do know that some long conversations can be beneficial and feel good for couples at times, but learning a repair tool that can be used as practice and ease some disagreements and conflicts is key to normalizing healthy conflict.

I suggest couples set a day/time to have marriage/relationship meetings once a week for 20-30 minutes with no devices. This helps the two individuals to come prepared to talk and provides a space to pay attention to the health of their relationship. During these meetings, each partner can share two appreciations involving their partner (e.g., “Thank you for sitting with me Tuesday when I was not feeling well, I really liked that you brought home dinner when you knew I had a tough day at work”). Next, using a communication tool or format, each partner shares any concerns or suggestions they witnessed or would like to discuss (e.g., “When you did not respond to my text or answer my question, the story I told myself was that you were too busy out with your friends, In the future could you greet me when you come home before you go upstairs to read”)?

Having a designated time and place to pay attention and normalize differences plus identify positive things that have happened during the week is an excellent way to become more mindful of your relationship and become intentional in resolving conflict. I have often told couples that if you take only one thing away from our work together, I hope you commit to marriage/relationship meetings once a week with your partner. Practicing healthy conflict, getting together regularly, sharing positive things about your partner and relationship, and asking for what you and need and want in the relationship will transform you and your partner. You, then become the role model for the younger generation and help pass down a healthier way to be with the one you love.

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Alyson Peña, NCC, LPCC

Holiday Family Time

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Reflecting on my own family time during the holidays growing up, I remember heading to my Aunt Mary’s each Thanksgiving and falling in love with green bean casserole. Christmas day was filled with a big breakfast after my parents and I exchanged gifts by the fire. Holiday gatherings have an opportunity to be magical and at the same time can impact family members negatively due to past issues, unresolved hurts, and poor communication. During these trying times with Covid, families have been pushed to their limit with patience, more alone time, and financial burden to name a few. Even without a pandemic, a lot of families do not have the skills, structure, or healthy intentions going into the holiday season to help maintain clear communication, boundaries, and acceptance of one another. Without planning around these events and down time at home during this season, things can get ugly.

A possible solution is: Setting intentions.

As an individual and family, I suggest making a list of intentions for the holiday at large and in specific detail around certain days and holiday gatherings.

  • Implementing nuclear family meetings once a week to check in with one another can help to let out steam or clear up confusion while also sharing appreciations of what someone has done or said.
  • Discussing specific holiday family events and areas of concern or anxiety for family members can create a sense of support and strength to hold firm to boundaries and exit plans, if necessary.
  • Normalizing the complexity and past history of some families, in addition to dealing with Covid, where family members may be struggling, worried, and not acting like themselves.
  • Be prepared to provide a supportive ear to loved ones, however remember your intentions, boundaries and plan to leave an event, if necessary.
  • Be polite but firm.
  • Lastly, I want to really emphasize weekly family meetings to provide a space to share and explore this holiday season in order to reduce uncertainty and encourage family members to communicate their needs and wants during this special time.

Alyson Peña , NCC, LPCC

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Dealing With Uncertainty

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“People tend to prefer the certainty of misery versus the misery of uncertainty.”  I am not sure where I originally heard this or who is credited for saying it, but it certainly rings true.  Uncertainty can be brutal.  Uncertainty can be so unbearable that the avoidance of it can lead us to stay in some pretty terrible situations, or keep us from changing behaviors that are leading us down a dangerous path.  I am not sure if there has ever been a time in recent history where everyone is feeling the presence of uncertainty moving in like an army that has us surrounded.  Many of us have never been so unsure about what the future holds.  If you are like me, I am sure you have had those moments of intense fear in which you wonder if the entire fabric of society is about to tear…or even worse, you begin to wonder if the fabric was just an illusion all along.  Whether it is uncertainty about your health, your financial security, your family’s safety, your job, or the state of the world in general, chances are your nervous system and psyche are doing everything they can to manage the many risks that have exploded into your conscious awareness and it’s probably getting exhausting!

There is a way to find relief from the stress of uncertainty.  However, there is a catch.  The path to finding relief from uncertainty…is to embrace uncertainty.   When we are in our early years of life, our brains are exploding with developmental growth, particularly between the ages of zero to three.  This is also the time in which we develop comprehension and use of language.  Language is crucial to development.  If you have children, you have gone through the phase of labeling everything your child comes into contact with.  While this is torturous at times, we all instinctively know just how important it is to do…both on the side of the parent teaching it, and on the side of the child asking, “What’s that?”  Language is essential for communication, and communication is essential for getting our needs met.  Language is also essential for creating any sense of control in the midst of chaos.  Imagine how the world must look to a toddler, and imagine how terrifying it would be if you had no mechanism to understand all the moving parts around you…to understand that this thing is called that, and this is how that thing relates to that other thing, and when I feel this it is called that, and so on.  For a child, being certain that there is order to the chaos is the only way they can trust that they are safe.  For a child, certainty is akin to oxygen.  Fast forward to adulthood and the same instinctual drive toward certainty rules much of our thought processes.  We tend to label, categorize and assign value to the people, places and things around us.  Certainty continues to create a feeling of safety, a feeling of understanding the world around us…but it may be time to challenge that belief.

There are risks to investing our sense of safety in certainty as we grow into full-fledged adults.  When the people, places and things around us begin to change and shift, they are not so easy to label and categorize.  And when that happens things suddenly begin to feel less safe.  When we pull back the lens and take an honest look at what we know to be certain, we are faced with the uncomfortable truth that the label of “certain” may be overused in a day to day experience.  The job, the relationship, the plan, the beliefs, the ideology, these are all things that we tend to seek certainty in.  But if we allow for uncertainty to exist in the space of these realities we may find that we are not as rattled when they abruptly shift.  If we accept, and perhaps even embrace uncertainty two things can happen.  One, we are not setting ourselves up for a crisis when the thing that was once certain no longer is, and two, we are less at risk for taking it for granted in the present moment.  In many ways, embracing uncertainty may be the best practice of emotional well-being.  With this approach we can simultaneously make ourselves resilient to change, while at the same time appreciating what we have right in front of us.  I am certain of it.

Adam Swanson, LMFT, Lido Wellness Center

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