Monthly Archives: July 2023

An image depicting the contrasting emotional landscape of BPD, featuring a stormy, tumultuous sky reflecting the inner turmoil, and serene, calm waters below, symbolizing the potential for stability and peace with proper treatment.

Signs of BPD

In the woven tapestry of the human mind, emotions, behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs weave together to create patterns that define our personalities. Sometimes these strands tangle up or divert in such a way that it becomes important to find help to make sense of the pattern. Borderline personality disorder represents one of these instances.

Emotional instability and mood swings are the typical telltale symptoms. However, these are not simple outbursts. These feelings come at an intensity that would seem alien to a neurotypical individual.

Sadness is not a whisper; it is a howl. Annoyance doesn’t pinch; it stabs through you. Emotions don’t just fade away; they linger and take center stage in life.

What are the signs of BPD?

While everyone experiences emotions, not everyone has the same level of control over their emotions. On the far end of the emotional control spectrum is a mental illness called borderline personality disorder, or BPD. Someone with BPD will struggle to control their emotions, often acting impulsively. The following are key signs that you or someone you love may have BPD.

Emotional Instability and Mood Swings

People with BPD feel emotions very intensely. A situation that makes most people sad may cause someone with BPD to be inconsolable. Instead of being mildly annoyed, someone with BPD may become very angry. These negative moods and emotions often linger, and the person has difficulty breaking free of them.

Intense, Unstable Relationships

In relationships, people with BPD find a litany of highs and lows. Anger, despair, joy, and happiness are very close to the surface. This is why many describe it as a bit of a roller coaster. This means relationships typically take a lot of work to maintain—or they fall apart.

Poor Self-Image

People with BPD often have a distorted opinion of themselves. They may see themselves entirely differently than their friends see them. Or, they may have a lack of self-image. Someone with BPD may claim they don’t know who they are or who they want to be.

Impulsive and Self-Harming Behaviors

The mood swings and poor self-image that come with BPD can lead to impulsive and self-harming behaviors. These can present in many different ways. Some patients with BPD may cut themselves. Eating disorders, shopping addictions, and kleptomania are all quite common.

Feelings of Emptiness and Abandonment

A person with BPD may say they feel empty and abandoned. Sometimes this results from their struggling relationships, but it can also be related to their lack of self-image. Chronic feelings of emptiness may perpetuate more impulsive behaviors. The individual may need to act impulsively to “feel something.”

Borderline personality disorder can make it difficult for someone to learn, hold down a job, and form meaningful relationships with others – but there is hope. Several types of psychotherapy, including schema-focused therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), have proven helpful. Some patients also find relief with antidepressants and mood-stabilizing medications.

Hope for People With BPD

Uncertainty, impulsivity, and intense emotions don’t have to dominate the scene. Instead, they can be restructured—shaped into a vibrant, well-managed life—a testament to resilience and determination.

The waves of emotion can be given a new rhythm, moving with the gentle sway of mindfulness and emotional regulation skills—the tools and techniques learned in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

Relationships once filled with volatility are now blossoming with trust and understanding. The intensity of emotions that often led to strife and disconnection has become a source of empathy and profound connection. Bonds become stronger as those with BPD learn to communicate their feelings and needs, transforming their relationships into safe harbors, their lighthouses in moments of emotional fog.

Imagine the sense of emptiness and abandonment replaced with a sense of belonging. The aching void gradually filled with a newfound understanding of self-worth and acceptance. The individual begins to appreciate solitude without feeling abandoned, feeling content in their own company.

So, what does a well-managed life with BPD look like? It looks like human life’s complexity, colors, and emotional richness: resilience, growth, and embracing one’s unique emotional landscape. If you’re walking this path or know someone who is, remember—t’s not just about surviving but thriving and celebrating wellness existence in its entirety.

Want to talk more? Call Lido Wellness today for a free BPD consultation.

This entry was posted in Personality Disorders on by .
A heart-shaped puzzle with interconnected pieces representing emotions, symbolizing emotional intelligence and its role in building meaningful connections and fostering personal growth.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Understanding the profound impact our emotions have on our lives is always fascinating. They are the threads that weave through the tapestry of our lives, coloring every experience and shaping who we are at our core.

They reveal our deepest truths, helping us understand our vulnerabilities, joys, and fears. Our ability to embrace and appreciate our emotions with courage and compassion truly determines the depth of our human experience. Emotions are not to be suppressed or ignored but to be embraced as valuable guides on our journey. Understanding emotional intelligence is the key that unlocks the door to understanding and managing these powerful forces within us.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is the ability to understand and manage your emotions to communicate effectively, empathize with others, relieve stress, and overcome challenges. Dr. Daniel Goleman, among others, has contributed significantly to our understanding of emotional intelligence by delving into two crucial facets: interpersonal intelligence, which focuses on our ability to perceive and respond to others’ emotions, and intrapersonal intelligence, which revolves around self-awareness and understanding our values and beliefs.

Interpersonal intelligence: A person’s ability to detect and respond to the mood, motivation, and desires of others.

Intrapersonal intelligence: A person’s ability to be self-aware and attuned to their values, beliefs, and thinking.

The Value of EQ

Developing emotional intelligence is a game-changer in both personal and professional spheres. It fosters meaningful connections with others, fuels success in work and education, and helps us steer through stressful situations with grace and resilience.

EQ emerges as an essential leadership skill in the workplace, fostering improved communication, problem-solving, and management. It allows individuals to fully understand another’s perspective even when it contradicts one’s opinion.

Signs of Emotional Intelligence

The four primary attributes of emotional intelligence include self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Demonstrating empathy, taking responsibility for mistakes, recognizing personal strengths and limitations, and effectively expressing ourselves are hallmarks of emotional intelligence.

The key signs of emotional intelligence include:

  • An ability to show empathy towards others
  • Accepting responsibility for mistakes
  • An understanding of personal strengths and limitations
  • Ability to express oneself clearly
  • Managing difficult situations successfully
  • Self-confidence

IQ vs. EQ

The intelligence quotient (IQ) measures your ability to solve problems, think logically, and communicate complex ideas. While IQ refers to intellectual capacity, EQ measures an individual’s social and emotional competencies. Some experts believe EQ is more important than IQ and is essential for success.

Emotional Intelligence and Mental Health

High levels of emotional intelligence are associated with positive mental health and reduced anxiety and depression. EQ helps us grasp potential stressors. In the case of anxiety, EQ can reduce anxiety by making the world less threatening and allowing them to return to a calmer state more easily. A person suffering from depression can maintain their ability to fully process painful losses by learning to acknowledge their emotions.

Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

In relationships, emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of authentic and meaningful connections. It allows us to embrace our vulnerabilities and hold space for others to express theirs without judgment. We can listen with empathy and respond with compassion, fostering a safe and nurturing environment where trust can grow.

At the heart of emotional intelligence lies the power of self-awareness, which helps us recognize our emotional triggers and patterns. This awareness empowers us to pause and reflect before reacting, fostering healthier and more constructive responses to our emotions and those around us. Understanding our emotional landscape allows us to communicate more effectively, conveying our thoughts and feelings with clarity and openness.

As we journey further into emotional intelligence, let us embrace its profound implications for our lives, hearts, and minds. Understanding and nurturing our EQ allows us to chart a course toward a more fulfilling and connected existence.

Develop Emotional Intelligence at Lido Wellness

At Lido Wellness in Newport Beach, we help people journey towards cultivating emotional intelligence and nurturing their mental health. Our outpatient mental health services offer a unique opportunity to foster EQ in a supportive and flexible setting.

Through outpatient care, you can develop a deep understanding of your emotions, build resilience, and forge meaningful connections while maintaining your daily life’s comfort and familiarity.

Our compassionate team of professionals is dedicated to walking alongside you, empowering you to communicate authentically and navigate life’s challenges with grace. Together, we can unlock the profound power of emotional intelligence and embark on a path of healing and personal growth. Your journey begins here.

This entry was posted in Mental Health on by .
A woman's hand gently covers her face, the image gradually fading into blur, symbolizing the disorientation and confusion often associated with experiencing gaslighting.

What Is Gaslighting

As we move through the sometimes-chaotic waters of life, we must never lose our bearings or the ground of our reality. But we may find ourselves vulnerable to manipulation when it comes to interpersonal relationships. These tactics could even call into question our very perception of reality.

This subtle form of psychological abuse known as “gaslighting” has infiltrated our everyday language, yet its profound impact on individuals and relationships is far from innocuous.

The practice of gaslighting is a destructive psychological game. So let’s look at the arenas where gaslighting usually manifests—from personal relationships to the workplace.

What Is Gaslighting?

The term “gaslighting” gets used a lot these days in social media and on TV. But it’s not just another trend. Gaslighting is an actual form of psychological abuse. If someone gaslights you, they feed you false information to make you question your perception of reality. Being gaslit can feel maddening, but with some insight, you can learn to recognize it and respond in an empowering way.

Am I Being Gaslighted?

Gaslighting is most often experienced in relationships.

Here’s a potential scenario: You return home to find your favorite book drenched in coffee on the kitchen counter. You ask your roommate about the mishap.

They look at you, calm as ever, and insist that you left your book by your coffee mug this morning. However, you distinctly remember leaving it on your bedside table. Your roommate may be dismissive; they mention how distracted you’ve been lately. “Are you sure you didn’t bring it to the kitchen?” they ask.

As you clean up the mess, you feel a flicker of self-doubt. Did you bring the book into the kitchen and forget about it?

Want to know “what is gaslighting”? This is it. It’s a subtle manipulation that makes you question your memory and understanding of reality. In such scenarios, it’s important to trust your perceptions and seek support when necessary.

Key Characteristics of Gaslighting

Gaslighting can look a few different ways:

  • Denial: The person denies doing something you were previously very confident they did. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
  • Diverting: The person shifts the blame to you or a problem that they think youcreated.
  • Countering: The person uses phrases like “Are you sure?” or “You’re not remembering that correctly.”

Gaslighting, Relationships, and Mental Health

If you are being gaslit, feeling anxious, worthless, and out of control is normal. You may withdraw from others and question your reality, just as the gaslighter intended.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse in relationships. It’s an attempt to gain control over you. A relationship where this is happening is not a healthy one. You may feel trapped or like you cannot leave. But you can – and often, that is the best choice.

Recognizing Gaslighting

Recognizing what is gaslighting and addressing it can be challenging, but it’s possible. It begins with being attentive to your feelings. If you often question your memory or reality, particularly around a specific person, you might be experiencing gaslighting.

A typical tactic of a gaslighter is to deny events or conversations that you clearly remember. They might make you question the accuracy of your memories by saying things like “That never happened” or “You’re imagining things.”

Another sign is their tendency to deflect or shift blame. If you’re sure they did something wrong, yet somehow you apologize, it’s time to question what’s truly happening.

Responding to Gaslighting

Responding to gaslighting starts with trusting your feelings and perceptions. When your memory is clear, and your instincts alert you to a discrepancy, give yourself permission to believe in your experience.

Practicing assertiveness can also be helpful. A simple response like “I remember things differently” can prevent you from getting entangled in a futile argument and affirm your trust in your memory.

Additionally, reach out to your support network or someone from the Lido Wellness team. External perspectives and validation can provide a more objective view and equip you with strategies to cope with gaslighting.

Remember, you have the right to your reality. You don’t need to accept someone else’s interpretation of it. Standing up for your perception and seeking help when needed is essential.

Gaslighting is indeed a hurtful, abusive, and manipulative tactic. However, by equipping ourselves with understanding and insight, we can recognize the signs, resist its impact, and ultimately, choose healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

If you want to talk to someone about gaslighting or understand how you can gain deeper insight into your wellness journey, call Lido Wellness Center in Newport Beach today.

This entry was posted in Wellness on by .
Image of a person standing still in a crowded space while others are walking past, representing social isolation and the effects of Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD).

What Is Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Today we’re delving into the enigmatic realm of Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD). Picture this: chronic feelings of social anxiety and fearful thinking swirling around, wreaking havoc in all corners of an individual’s life. Sound familiar? Let’s dive in to understand the ins and outs of AvPD truly.

AvPD is like an uninvited guest, affecting every aspect of a person’s existence, from the mundane to the profound. Social fears are its specialty, with added aspects of low self-esteem, inadequate feelings, and a strong sensitivity to criticism. It thrives on the fear of shame, becoming a master at whispering doubts and insecurities into the ears of its victims. As a result, those dealing with AvPD will avoid social settings as much as possible.

Main Features of AvPD

AvPD tends to start early – it might creep into childhood, but it usually takes center stage by adulthood. According to those studying the human psyche, AvPD shows its true colors when four or more of its main symptoms emerge in early adulthood.

AvPD symptoms can lead to severe social isolation and interference with relationships. If you have AvPD, your social fears come from low self-esteem, such as inadequacy and sensitivity to criticism. As a result, you might avoid social interactions, new activities, and interpersonal connections.

Symptoms of Avoidant Personality Disorder

As stated before, AvPD can become noticeable in childhood, but most personality disorders aren’t usually diagnosed until a person is at least 18 years old. According to the DSM-V, people with AvPD will experience four or more of the following symptoms by early adulthood:

  • Avoids work tasks that involve social interaction due to fears of criticism or rejection
  • Unwilling to get involved with people unless they are sure of being liked
  • Refrains from intimate relationships due to the fear of being shamed
  • Preoccupied with being criticized in everyday social situations
  • Shows inhibition in new interpersonal situations because they feel inadequate
  • Views themselves as socially inept or inferior to others
  • Unwilling to participate in new activities that might lead to feelings of embarrassment

How AvPD Affects an Individual’s Life

A person with avoidant personality disorder has difficulty functioning in everyday life, which can limit success, learning, and new relationships. AvPD can manifest in your life in the following ways:

  •     Daily life: If you have AvPD, you might avoid everyday social interactions and any activities that involve interacting with others.
  •     Relationships: Someone with AvPD struggles to make new friendships or relationships. They might frequently decline invitations to events. As a result of having trouble communicating, maintaining close relationships can also be challenging.
  •     Overall well-being: Avoidant personality disorder can affect an individual’s ability to grow and learn. They might avoid taking a class because they fear receiving negative feedback. In the workplace, one might decline a promotion because they feel unworthy.

Treatment Options for Avoidant Personality Disorder

As difficult as avoidant personality disorder can be, there is hope in therapies like CBT, DBT, and acceptance and commitment therapy. Medications—antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics—are also effective in helping manage the anxiety and depression that often comes with AvPD.



While no medications are prescribed specifically for AvPD, antidepressants, certain mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics can help reduce anxiety symptoms. Examples include paroxetine, sertraline, and gabapentin.

Getting Help with Avoidant Personality Disorder in Newport Beach

So, if you or someone you hold dear finds themselves managing Avoidant Personality Disorder, take heart! With understanding, support, and a help from a mental health facility Newport Beach like Lido Wellness Center, one can learn to manage the shadows of AvPD and embrace a life of connection and self-acceptance. Want to talk more? Call us at: 949-541-8466.

This entry was posted in Personality Disorders on by .